Halsey has been inching back into the spotlight this summer after a couple years of intense health battles. After releasing comeback song “The End,” a ballad co-produced by Alex G that alluded to her struggles with lupus SLE and then a rare T-cell lymphoproliferative disorder, she shared a statement on Instagram thanking her fans for their support. It seems her experience has taken a turn for the worse since then.

On Friday Halsey released “Lucky,” a new track that incorporates elements of Britney Spears’ “Lucky” and Monica’s “Angel Of Mine,” which led to some bizarre short-lived conflict with Spears. In a new note posted to her Tumblr account, Halsey writes that she’s been experiencing similar levels of hostility from her fan base, who are “hands down meaner to me than any other people on the planet.” The note concludes, “When I got sick all I could think about was getting better so I could come back and be a part of THIS again, but I don’t even know what *this* is anymore and I want to crawl in a hole and I regret coming back.”

Here’s the full message:

My own fans are hands down meaner to me than any other people on the planet. Not speaking for all of you, of course. But it used to be just a minority that were awful to me and now it seems like a majority have only stuck around to chime in occasionally with their opinion of how much they hate me or how awful I am. it’s hard to want to engage in a space that is completely devoid of any kindness, sympathy, patience; or to be honest human decency. Especially after years of hiding from the interactions for fear that this EXACT thing would happen. I don’t know man. I almost lost my life. I am not gonna do anything that doesn’t make me happy anymore. I can’t spiritually afford it.

When I got sick all I could think about was getting better so I could come back and be a part of THIS again, but I don’t even know what *this* is anymore and I want to crawl in a hole and I regret coming back.

In a follow-up post, Halsey writes:

Anyway. I’m on my way to a PET scan. And uploading lucky stripped. Because this is the insane irony my life has become.

I’m a person. Not a character in a music video.

The “Lucky (Stripped)” she alludes to in the message is an acoustic version, which you can hear below.