Turns out Elton John's not alone: 50 Cent and Justin Timberlake hate the Internet, too! Although, honestly, we can't imagine Sir Elton belting, "I'm tired of using technology / Why don't you sit down on top me." (Or maybe we can?) The rest of the neo-Luddite manifesto includes finally appointed mansions, dope suits, fast cars and a bevy of hot ladies stripping and simulating masturbation in said mansions and fast cars. Yeah, guess that does beat updating your blog.
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