Back in July, shortly before the release of Sleater-Kinney’s new album The Center Won’t Hold, longtime drummer Janet Weiss announced that she was leaving the band. At the time, Weiss made a statement explaining that the band was “heading in a new direction.” In an Instagram comment shortly thereafter, her ex-bandmate Carrie Brownstein said, “what am I supposed to say? She left. We asked her to stay. We tried. It’s hard and sad.” Weiss has now said more about what caused her to leave the band. It doesn’t sound good.

As Rolling Stone points out, Weiss recently sat for a long interview with the podcast The Trap Set With Joe Wong. (It’s a podcast specifically dedicated to interviews with drummers.) The conversation stretched over about an hour and a half, and it included Weiss’ first real comment on her departure from Sleater-Kinney. Here’s some of what she said:

The roles changed within the band. And they told me the roles changed…

I don’t want to go into super detail, but [Carrie Brownstein and Corin Tucker] told me the roles changed. I said, “Am I just a drummer now?” And they said, “Yes.” And I said, “Am I a creative equal? Can you tell me that I’m still a creative equal within the band? They said, “No.” So I left…

I thought about it a lot. I will never play with two people like that again, you know? They’re totally unique, incredible, intuitive players. It’s a lot to walk away from. It’s my sisters, my family. But I couldn’t be in that band and have it not be equals, especially with what it represents to me…

It represents equality, you know? If we can’t have that in our band, how can we have that in the world? How can we be fighting for equality and not have it in our band? It just became a disconnect. But I don’t think they saw it like that. They’re not evil people. I just think the two of them are so connected, and they really agree on almost everything. They just thought, “We are going to take this band somewhere, and we want to be in charge of that, the two of us.”

I think I was a threat to where they wanted the band to go — just who I am. And that felt bad, to me. As bandmates and partners and people I’ve had a relationship for all this time, I wanted to be not a threat and not someone to hold at arm’s length, but someone to embrace and to go together where we wanted to go. But they had really specific ideas, what they wanted. And I just didn’t fit anymore. We were on a different page. We couldn’t get on the same page. So it was really hard. It was not something I took lightly at all…

We went to counseling and tried to talk it out, which had helped before. Like in 1998, we went to counseling. We still couldn’t get on the same page. I made a list and printed it out for them, like “these are the things I would need to think about staying.” I just think it was clear that, when they told me the roles had changed and that I wasn’t going to be a creative equal in the making of the music, I couldn’t do it anymore.

The last record, the new record, was made sort of without me. It was going to be challenging to get up there onstage and deliver those songs as if they were mine when they sort of weren’t mine at all. It just got real lonely for me. But I love them. And they seem happy. They’re doing their thing the way they want to do it, and it doesn’t have to be the three of us. It can be this pure thing with the two of them. It always existed, that thing… Their relationship is telepathic.

I wouldn’t have left unless I really needed to. I have no ill will towards them at all. I want what we did together to remain this pure thing. I don’t want to work out our disagreements in the public. We tried to work stuff out. The three of us tried and sat down and talked about our hopes and dreams and what we wanted and how we saw things…

I’m not interested in trashing anybody. I do really love those guys. This thing that we made together, it’ll live on. Those songs that we made together will always be great live. Even if it’s not me playing them, the song is going to stand up. I think that’s happening now. We had a thing. We had a real thing. But if roles change in relationships, it’s just natural. Sometimes, you have to face that head-on, that the roles have changed, and reassess.

I tried, and it just didn’t work for me. There’s something that I hold onto. If we can’t make our personal relationships an example of what we want the bigger world to look like, the bigger picture to look like, that, to me, doesn’t work. And there’s no amount of money that could make that worth it. So I had to make a really hard decision.

You can listen to the entire interview here.