Earlier this week, we learned the unfathomably sad news that Angus Cloud, the deeply likable actor who played the heart-of-gold drug dealer Fezco on the HBO hit Euphoria, had died at the age of 25. Last night, Dominic Fike, the young musician who joined the Euphoria cast in the show’s second season, was playing a show at Houston’s 713 Music Hall, and he took a moment to talk about Cloud.

It’s hard to watch the video of Dominic Fike talking about Angus Cloud, since it’s basically watching one young person process the death of another in real time. There’s no performative mourning in Fike’s statement. Instead, he talks about Cloud with the numb bemusement that often comes with our first real exposure to death. He’s in the moment, and he doesn’t know what to feel or say. Those of us who have lost people might recognize the feeling. Here’s what Fike said, while noodling at his acoustic guitar:

I guess I lost a friend of mine recently. He died the other night, which is wild to say because I don’t deal with grief often. I haven’t had a lot of death happen around me, and this was the first time I feel like I knew the person well enough to cry over and feel something. It was weird.

I was on my way to get a massage, which sounds so fucking stupid, at the time, and I got this call. And it fucked me up, obviously. I still got the massage. I felt really stupid. He probably would’ve been like, “Yeah, go ahead,” you know? Even this tonight, I was sitting in the green room, and it felt… You know when things just feel trivial? You feel really small, and the timeline gets sort of stretched out.

I sometimes look at people like sparks. I zoom out, and I think people have wavelengths. If you zoom out far enough, you see some people — probably not a lot of us at all — but I think if you zoomed out millions of miles, you would see this kid’s spark. You could see it from so far away, even if it was a short flash. He would light up a room, any room he walked in. He’s a fucking good dude. I felt stupid coming out here. Like, this is so stupid, doing a show and being happy. But he would’ve wanted me to do that. He would’ve been like, “No, do the show, have fun.”

Zendaya, the lead of the Euphoria ensemble, wrote her own Angus Cloud tribute on Instagram, and she echoed Fike’s sentiment: “I know people use this expression often when talking about folks they love… ‘they could light up any room they entered’ but boy let me tell you, he was the best at it. I’d like to remember him that way.”

One of the shittiest things about getting older is that your friends and loved ones just keep dying, and you have to keep doing all the trivial things that make up your life, as if it’s OK. You never get used to it, but the first time always sticks with you.