Not a mask, Lana.

Brother…..how much of an asshole, redneck shitkicker do you have to be to get thrown out of a Kid Rock-run joint in fucking Tennessee? The mind reels. As for SNL – call the Drive-By Truckers!!!

A mesh mask is even dumber than just not wearing one.

Barnable’s Most 80-est Number One Songs of the ‘80s.

The heavens part. Angels sing. Trumpets blare. The reveal is FINALLY here, halfway through 1985. Surprise, surprise! “Don’t You (Forget About Me)” is Barnable’s pick for the 80est Number One Song of the 80s.

1. “Don’t You (Forget About Me)” Simple Minds
2. “Don’t You Want Me” The Human League
3. TBA
4. TBA
5. “Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)” Eurythmics
6. “Total Eclipse of the Heart” Bonnie Tyler
7. “Karma Chameleon” Culture Club
8. “Come on Eileen” Dexys Midnight Runners
9. “Down Under” Men At Work
10. “Time after Time” Cyndi Lauper
11. “Beat It” Michael Jackson
12. “When Doves Cry” Prince
13. “Careless Whisper” George Michael/Wham!
14. “The Reflex” Duran Duran
15. “Maneater” Hall and Oates
16. “Like a Virgin” Madonna
17. TBA
18. TBA
19. TBA
20. TBA

One of the oddest career detours of mine was teaching high school biology a few years ago. The most emotionally, mentally, and physically challenging job I’ve ever had. But that’s another story. Each day, while the students completed their bell work/review, I would play a song. I wanted to expose the youth of today to many types of music. Some days it was a country song. The next a show tune, the next a jazz standard. For most songs, the students were utterly clueless. They had never heard the song before.

One day, I played “Don’t You (Forget About Me).” After just one drum beat and two chords, the entire class erupted in unison and began singing, “Hey, hey, hey, hey!” I was flabbergasted. Needless to say, no work was completed during this song.

Later that year at the prom, this song played and the dance floor filled immediately. A few couples, but mostly groups of friends hugging and dancing and singing along. Again, I was amazed. My 20-year-old daughter, raised with 80s music in the background, recently informed me that DY(FAM) is, hands down, her favorite 80s song. Really? What was it about this song, one that I thought was a rather esoteric 80s song by an obscure Scottish band, that connected with this generation, nearly 40 years later?? So, I started thinking . . .

One of the most common elements to an 80s song is belonging to a movie soundtrack. And what better way to claim 80-ishness than being the “de facto” theme song to one of, if not, THE most iconic movies of the 80s, The Breakfast Club.

Just like DY(FAM), The Breakfast Club has evolved into an 80s classic, endeared by subsequent generations, perhaps more so than Generation X, who were expecting another “Fast Times at Ridgemont High.” What we got, however, was an intimate, almost theatrical character study, one whose message has endured.

And while many soundtrack songs appear tacked-on over the closing credits and arbitrary, DY(FAM) is organically intertwined with the story and themes of TBC. It is played at the beginning in demo form, and fully produced at the end. Five stereotypical high school students from different cliques come together for detention and learn that they actually share far more than they thought.

The key question at the end, what will happen on Monday morning? Will they still be friends? Will they take the risk of being ostracized by their peers by acknowledging each other? Will you call my name? or will you walk on by? The question remains unanswered, despite promises and platitudes. But we all deep down know the true answer, don’t we?

DY(FAM) manages the impossible. It is simultaneously joyful and sad; hopeful and melancholic. It captures the joy and hope of new-found friendship, but also captures the sadness knowing it won’t last. The hope of something better to come, and the melancholy of knowing, perhaps subconsciously, that it just wasn’t meant to be.

And as such, the message of DY(FAM) is timeless. It speaks to every generation. It is a message we have all written in high school yearbooks. Admit it. We had such great times. Don’t forget me. Keep in touch. Every generation, every high school student writes these same words time and again . . . knowing we won’t. Life happens. We will forget. We will lose touch. But, at least for the moment, we can hope.

This message, to me, also appropriately sums up the 80s. We were hopeful at the time that we were changing the world. We were going to make things better. New music. New TV stations. New artists! Oh, look, VJ’s not DJ’s! World premiere videos! Our parents simply could not understand.

It was all so . . . new. But, in the back of our minds, we knew the truth. The world doesn’t want to be changed. Behind all the glam and the glitter, spandex and big hair, synthesizers and drum tracks, we knew the truth. Nothing, really, would change. But for a brief, shining time, the 1980s, there was hope.

Musically, DY(FAM) can also stand on its own, separate from TBC and the movie soundtrack—a perfect balance of synth-pop and traditional instruments. The strength of the track in my mind is Mel Gaynor’s drums. The drum track alone is instantly recognizable by itself, and the EPIC drum fill at 3:43 is simply sublime, sending me into a happy air-drum frenzy every time.

Jim Kerr’s vocals are earnest and evocative, but not hammy or hokey. The upbeat and improvised “hey’s” and “La, la, la’s” provide the perfect foil to the wistful and more somber verses.

So, there is my explanation as to why DY(FAM) has endured throughout the decades, and, as such, represents the perfect ambassador to represent the 80s to the coming generations.

If I were to submit an 80s song for a time capsule, or a mission to space on Voyager-1, “Don’t You (Forget About Me)” would be my recommendation, and, therefore, tops Barnable’s List of The 80est Number One Songs of the 80s. My daughter is pleased.

Thoughts? Comments? Surprised? Don’t you try and pretend. TNOCS always has an opinion. But it’s my feeling we’ll win in the end.

I’ll tell you right now it’s a 10.

“Said she wanna fuck to some SZA, I always pay extra attention to peeling off the white strings of a clementine/ Cause I used to date SZA back in ’09.”

It probably won’t fit on the melody, but it is true

“Said she wanna fuck to some SZA, put on My Bloody Valentine/ Cause I used to date SZA back when they reunited at Coachella in ’09.”

“Said she wanna fuck to some SZA, pour the wine/ Cause I used to date SZA back in ’09.”

I’ll take my million dollars in cash money please.

Fuuuuuuuck this guy. The best he can do is platitudes and whining about the “intolerant left”? The college republicans had run that chestnut into the ground by 2016. How quaint.

Riff in peace

Oh please. I’ve always wanted some serious downvotes 😭

shoutout to the sg positivity police making sure the harsh truth is hidden every time

What? I’m serious asshole, who cares if someone’s not wearing a mask. This is all political and its not a big deal. We know who it’s kind of deadly for, 70 plus people with a 94.6 survival rate. Even then on top of being 70+ the only people dieing have a couple serious problems on top of covid. And that’s what really killed them. So how bout you wake up bud.

Dude get over yourself. You sound like a millennial

So what? Let’s get back to living our lives and not being scared of a 0.3 death rate with the average age of death being 78. And almost all the people who died were on death’s door anyways, they were in bad shape. So how about we stop being cowards and scared of death, it comes for us all come to terms with it and believe in something. Any body under 70 who is scared of this virus or shaming people for not wearing masks,do you realize you’re embarrassing yourself and no one likes you.

Fair enough!